


Unconditional

by octavia74



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cults, Eventual Smut, Except different, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Foster Care, Human BB-8 (Star Wars), Slow Burn, Soulmates, The Force
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:40:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22257331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/octavia74/pseuds/octavia74
Summary: Rey has grown up in the foster care system. At fifteen, she is taken in by Leia and Han, who are mourning the loss of their son. Rey soon learns that he is not, in fact, dead, but in a cult that led him to renounce his family and his name. When she bumps into him in Dublin out of the blue, she realizes that everything is not what she presumed.
Relationships: Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 2
Kudos: 99





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'll be adding more tags as I add chapters. Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy.

Rey had been through a lot by the time she turned thirteen. She'd been left at a Chicago fire station at the age of four, and she'd been in and out of foster homes ever since. Most had been pretty rough, with too many kids around for her to get enough food or any attention from the adults. Moving from school to school resulted in her never having any true friends, she was an easy target for bullies, and since she was picked on so much, even the nice kids were afraid of being her friend, since they'd probably be bullied too. But she knew how to defend herself. That had some negative consequences of its own though. When she was ten, she got suspended for a week for punching a classmate in the stomach. Her foster parents told her that if she anything like that ever happened again, she would be out of their house immediately. 

"We refuse to put up with violent children," her foster mother, Mrs Plutt, told the social worker. 

"We completely understand," Mr Qin-Fee replied.

She held it together for the next few years, not to say she didn't fight. She just made sure no adults ever found out about it, but she just couldn't stop herself when she was thirteen. 

Varmik Davis had just chided her about being an orphan; he had said that her parents were trash just like her, and that no one would ever want her or love her. Rey saw red. She lunged at him in the school hallway, smashing him against the lockers. They fell to the ground, and she continued pummeling any part of him she cough find. The next thing she knew, she sat in the principal's office as he explained what had happened to her foster parents. 

He turned to Rey, "I understand Varmik said some things to you, Rey, that were uncalled for, but nothing could excuse your behavior. You broke his nose! Mr and Mrs Davis are furious." 

"As are we," Mr Plutt said forcefully. "We told you last time that we wouldn't put up with this. We'll be calling her social worker when we get home."

"Please!" Rey pleaded. "I didn't mean to hurt him. Please don't send me away."

The principal looked sympathetic, but her foster parents just shook their heads, both of their faces stony. 

Rey left with Mr Qin-Fee the next day. She had cried continuously from arriving home the previous day, and her tears did not stop in the car. He looked at her with a soft expression on his face. 

"I'm sorry, Rey, really I am, but I think you'll see this is for the best."

"The best?" she choked out at him in her desolation. "I can't go back to the orphanage."

"It will only be for about a week," Mr Qin-Fee said. "I've secured a place for you in a group home, with some kids your own age. Hopefully you can make some friends, and there's counseling available for you. I think you'll find it much better than the Plutts'." 

Rey highly doubted it. She much preferred being alone to being with kids her own age, but she said nothing to Mr Qin-Fee. It did no good to argue. 

* * *

Rey was not really wrong, but it was better than she expected. The group home was cramped and dirty, and the food was awful and limited. However, she did make a friend for the first time in her life. He was a very strange boy who was far too small and latched on to her because she stood up for him. His real name was Brandon Burton, but everyone called him BB. He barely ever spoke, and when he did, he whispered to Rey and she would have to repeat what he said. The other kids began to respect her, either out of fear because they knew she could fight them, or from being impressed by her compassion for BB and her intelligence in school. On Rey’s fifteenth birthday, Mr Qin-Fee came to visit her and tell her some new that he thought would make her birthday. 

“I have found a couple that wants to take you in, along with your friend Brandon,” he told Rey excitedly. 

“What?” Rey wasn’t sure she had understood him.

“They are interested in taking in two teenagers. They even talked about supporting you through college. Rey, this is an amazing opportunity!”

Rey couldn’t talk, she just stared at him. 

* * *

Mr Qin-Fee took Rey and BB to their new home on the north side the next day. The house was situated on Lake Michigan; it was not a mansion, but a modestly sized two-story home. The couple, who Mr Qin-Fee had told them were Mr and Mrs Solo, came out to the circular drive to meet them. He was tall, with greying hair and scruffy stubble. She was shorter, with a kind face and her hair piled on top of her head in braids. They both smiled at the two teenagers. 

“Welcome,” the woman said nicely.

“Hello, Mrs Solo,” Rey responded shyly. 

The woman laughed, “My last name is Organa; I never changed it. I’m not his property,” she stuck her thumb out at the man jokingly, “but you can call me Leia.”

“And I’m Han,” the man said, sticking out his hand out and shaking Rey’s. “You must be Rey, and this is Brandon,” he offered his hand to BB, and BB shook it hesitantly.

“He’s called BB,” Rey told them, “and he doesn’t really talk much.”

“That’s okay, BB,” Leia said soothingly. “We’re glad you two are here. Come on into the house. You can leave your bags in the entryway. We’ll give you a tour and then show you to your rooms.”

The house was warm and comfortable. Most of the rooms were in the back with windows facing the lake. The kitchen was in the middle, with a small dining area to the left and a large living room to the right. 

“Feel free to use anything you like,” Leia told them. “Do you cook?”

“I can make eggs and some other things, but not really,” Rey replied.

“I love cooking,” Leia said. “I’ll teach you if you’d like.”

Rey smiled for the first time that day, “that sounds nice.”

“Are you two hungry at all?” Han asked. “You both look like you could use a few good meals.”

“No, we had breakfast at the home,” Rey said. That was technically true, but she had only had a piece of toast, and truthfully, she was very hungry. However, she knew that she should refuse, they didn’t want kids who ate them out of money. 

Neither Han nor Leia looked convinced that she wasn’t hungry, but they let it slide and showed them upstairs. There were four bedrooms, a large master for Han and Leia, two rooms for Rey and BB, and a small guest room.

“My brother comes to visit quite often,” Leia explained. “That’s his room when he’s in town. Now, your two rooms are pretty plain. Feel free to put up posters or whatever you want. We can paint them as well, if you’d like a color other than white.” 

Rey did not believe she meant this. “I don’t have any posters,” she said. 

“Oh!” Leia exclaimed, “Well, what are you into? We can get you some.”

Rey’s disbelief must have been apparent on her face, because Han added, “Really, we’d like this to be your home, so you can make your bedroom your own.”

“Thank you,” Rey mumbled, unsure what else to say. 

Sensing her discomfort, Leia redirected the conversation, “This is the bathroom. You two will have to share it with Luke when he’s around. Other than that, you’ve seen everything. We’ll leave you to settle into your rooms until lunch, does that sound okay?”

Rey nodded, and Han and Leia returned back downstairs. BB followed Rey into her room.

“What do you think?” she asked him. “Seems weird, right?”

“They seem really nice,” BB whispered. 

“Too nice,” Rey replied. “This is all too good to be true. They must want us to do something for them.”

BB shrugged. His pale skin seemed to meld into the white wall behind him so that he was just a floating mop of ginger hair over his clothes. 

“Do you think they’ll actually let us choose a color to paint the walls? And buy us things?”

He looked at her for a moment before answering, “maybe you should ask them for something, see if they meant it.” 

Rey agreed. A little while later, Leia called Rey and BB down for lunch. She had made grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. Smelling the delicious food, which was all homemade, the soup wasn’t even from cans, Rey’s stomach growled loudly, giving her hunger away. 

Han laughed at her embarrassment, “I heard that! You  _ are  _ hungry.”

Leia passed her a sandwich and a bowl of soup. Rey tried to eat it slowly, but her self control began to fail when she tasted the food, it was amazing. BB was having the same problems she was, clearly trying to chew slowly. 

“Have you thought of anything you’d like for your rooms?” Leia asked as she tucked into her own lunch. 

“Could I have a poster of The Killers? They’re my favorite band,” Rey said tentatively. 

An odd sad expression crossed both Leia’s and Han’s faces, but Leia quickly replaced it with a smile, “Of course!”

“I’m sorry,” Rey couldn’t stop herself from asking, “Is there something wrong with The Killers?”

“Oh no,” Leia assured her. “Our son, Ben, was a big fan.”

Rey didn’t miss the past tense. She decided to drop the subject. 

“Would you like another sandwich?” Leia asked both of them, getting up. 

“Yes, please!” Han joked happily.

“I wasn’t talking to you,” Leia laughed, but she brought back three sandwiches anyway, and gave one to each of them. 

“Would you like any more soup? There’s quite a lot.”

“Are you sure?” Rey asked, still unable to hide her disbelief. 

“Of course!” Leia was confused, “you can eat as much as you want! I can make more grilled cheeses if you’d like as well.” 

“As much as we want?” BB had spoken aloud in his surprise. 

Leia and Han stared at them, not understanding. “Well, of course,” Han said, “eat until you’re full.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been full,” Rey told them without thinking. She suddenly realized tears were leaking out of Leia’s eyes. “I’m sorry!” she said, thinking she’d done something awfully wrong.

“No,” Leia said smiling, “I just- well, I’m so sorry. Of course you can eat as much as you want. I promise, you’ll have as much as you want to eat for the rest of your life.” She busied herself with filling up Rey’s and BB’s soup bowls. 

“What else have you never had?” Han asked them seriously.

“Well, I don’t know,” Rey replied. 

“Have you ever had a phone?”

“A cell phone? No.”

“We’ll have to get you two one each. That way you can stay in contact with us while we’re at work.”

Rey just stared at him in astonishment. 

“School starts next week,” Leia said, coming back to the table. “We’ve got you registered but we have to go in sometime to sign you up for classes. We can go school shopping sometime as well.”

“For supplies?” Rey asked, she’d never had new school supplies. The home had had supplies donated, and before that she’d had to scrounge whatever she could find from her foster parents’ home. 

“Sure,” Leia nodded, “and new clothes, if you’d like.”

“New clothes?” Rey asked, “that’s kind of expensive.”

Han chuckled, though a little uncomfortably, “we have plenty of money, Rey. Don’t worry about us.”

Suddenly, Rey realized that they were serious; serious about buying them new clothes and supplies, serious about eating as much as they wanted, serious about this being their home. Far too many emotions overwhelmed her, and before she realized, she was crying. She buried her face in her hands. 

Warm arms encircled her, hugging her close to a soft chest, as Han whispered, “I’m so sorry, Rey,” over and over again. Once she had cried herself out, Rey saw that a similar thing was happening to BB, who was wrapped up in Leia’s arms. 

“I’m sorry,” Rey told Han quitely.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. We’re sorry your lives up to this point have been-.... Well, that’s over now, okay? You are safe here, and you can stay here as long as you want.”

“What if I punch someone at school?”

“Punch someone? Why would you punch someone?”

“My last foster parents didn’t want me anymore because I attacked this kid who made fun of me for being garbage.”

Han’s face clouded over with anger. Rey thought at first he was angry with her, but then he said, “You are not garbage, Rey. I’m glad you know how to defend yourself. If anyone says anything like that to you again, you have my full permission to punch the shit out of them.”

Rey laughed, unsure if he was serious, but thankful for the sentiment anyway. 

* * *

Rey fell in love with life with Leia and Han. They were kind and affectionate, not afraid to lay down rules, but sweet and giving. Even BB began talking to them, still in a whisper, but they recognized how big that was for him. Rey began high school looking much better than she ever had before. She was well fed and healthy; Han had enrolled her in kickboxing classes twice a week and she loved it. She had new clothes, a better haircut, and she was better groomed than ever before. The high school had more funding than any she’d ever attended, and she took honors Biology, English, Math and History, as well as Spanish, a weightlifting class, and art. She joined the international club, the biking club, and the math team. BB flourished as well, though quietly, as always.

They made friends. Finn, Poe, and Rose quickly became close with Rey and BB. When they weren’t all at school, they texted constantly and hung out at each other’s houses. Han and Leia, supportive in everything, were always willing to host, and so their house became almost a second home to Finn, Poe and Rose. 

Rey had her room painted a soft moss green, her favorite color, and BB had his painted bright orange, something Leia and Han tried desperately to talk him out of, but finally gave into. Rey found that she had very similar taste in music to Ben, as Leia would often stop by her room and say, “oh, I remember this song. Ben always played it while he was studying too.”

After a time, Leia opened up to Rey about her son, who was not in fact, dead, as Rey had assumed. “In his last year of college,” Leia confided, “he became very interested in the teachings of one of his professors, Snoke, I don’t know his first name. He had these ideas about the nature of humanity, and how humans could become powerful, almost supernatural, by giving up all worldly attachments, to things and to people. He was gathering followers, and when Ben graduated, he went with Snoke down to Appalachia. He renounced his family and everything he had once held dear. He even renounced his name. Before he left, he came to see us, one last time. He said he was no longer Ben Solo. He answered only to Kylo Ren. He said he was going to become more powerful than we could imagine. We tried to convince him to see that Snoke was crazy, was manipulating him, especially Luke, my brother. He and Ben had always been so close, but Ben refused to see reason. He left, and I haven’t heard from him since.”

“I’m so sorry,” Rey said, feeling that it was inadequate. 

“It’s awful, I know. We’ve tried to find him. We even tried to get the police to go to their commune once, but they said that as long as no one is being hurt, they can’t do anything about it. Ben was an adult after all. He can join any cult he wants to.”

Leia showed Rey a picture of the family on Ben’s first day of college. He towered over Han, who Rey thought was quite tall. He smiled brightly at her from the photo, his arms wrapped around his father’s and his mother’s shoulders. Next to Leia stood Luke, also smiling. Rey couldn’t imagine anyone walking away from this family. 


	2. Chapter 2

Luke Skywalker, Leia’s brother, was a biology professor at the University of Minnesota. He was surprised and happy with how passionate Rey was about biology. He encouraged her to consider his school, and after her senior year, she decided to attend the U of M. Finn also decided to go there, and they got a small apartment together their first year. Rose and BB both went to engineering school at U of I, and Poe joined the Air Force. They all stayed in touch, but it was different, of course. 

Rey began to look into The First Order, which was the name of the cult Ben had joined. There wasn’t very much about them on the internet. Their own website had only this short description of their beliefs:

_ “Humanity’s suffering stems directly from its inability to untether itself from the physical world. By releasing all attachments, one transcends into the spiritual plain, where there is no suffering, only peace. Once here, one may utilize many powers of the brain that humans forgot long ago, such as telepathy and telekinesis. The First Order seeks to unify its followers with this plain and help them on their journey to greatness.” _

There wasn’t anything else on the page, not even a picture. She had once asked Luke about it, but his face had become stony and he had refused to speak with her about it. She felt like Ben Solo was a mystery in her life, like her parents or where she’d come from. She wanted desperately to know him, to understand how he could have renounced Leia, Han, and Luke. He became an obsession with her, always in the back of her mind. She’d spend her free time googling “Kylo Ren First Order” or “Kylo Ren Ben Solo”, but nothing ever came of it. 

Her junior year of college, she went on a study abroad trip to Ireland. She had always wanted to go since Luke had been there multiple times and told her of it. She made a few friends and spent her weekends exploring the countryside. On her last outing of her stay, she and her friend  Kaydel were in Dublin. It was very cold, as it was nearing Christmas, and they had taken cover from the winter wind in a pub. Rey left Kaydel for a moment to go to the bathroom, and as she returned, she bumped right into a man that looked far too familiar to her.

“Ben!” Rey exclaimed in surprise. 

He stared at her, confused, “I’m sorry, do we know each other?”

“You’re Ben Solo?” she asked, amazed.

“I am,” he replied, “and you are?”

“I’m Rey. What are you doing here?”

“I’m sorry, it seems you remember me, but I don’t remember you.”

“Oh, no, I’m sorry. We haven’t met. I’ve just seen pictures of you, but aren’t you supposed to be in  Appalachia.”

“In The First Order? No, I left that cult a while ago, but how do you know me?”

“Your parents, Leia and Han,” an obvious flash of pain was on Ben’s face at the mention of his parents’ names. Rey ignored it, “they took me in a few years ago. I was a foster kid.”

“That’s nice of them,” Ben said coolly. 

“But you’re not in the cult anymore, they’ll be so glad. They miss you, you know!”

“I’m sure,” he said with heavy sarcasm. 

Rey was confused, “but, why wouldn’t they? Leia and Han and Luke, they miss you so much!”

“Listen,” Ben fixed her with a harsh stare, “I know you think you know what’s going on, but you don’t. They clearly haven’t told you what happened.”

“What do you mean? You joined a cult and refused to talk to them.”

“No,” he spat at her, “you don’t know anything about me.”

“But, what are you doing here?”

Ben’s face relaxed a little as the conversation turned away from his family, “I’m on a business trip. My company has a lot of clients in Dublin. What about you?”

“I’m studying abroad. I’m going home soon though. This is technically my last hurrah.”

Ben studied her for a moment before saying, “well, let me buy you a drink then.”

This caught Rey very off guard. All she could do was say, “oh, okay,” and lead him back over to where Kaydel sat at the bar. 

“This is Ben,” Rey introduced them, “Ben, this is Kaydel.”

“What are you drinking?” Ben asked. 

“7 and 7,” Rey replied. 

“You’re not drinking Guinness? How can you come to Dublin and not drink Guinness?”

“I don’t like beer,” Rey told him. 

“I told her that too,” Kaydel said. “She did try it at least, but it’s true, she hated it.”

“Shame,” Ben said, smiling. “Alright barkeep,” he joked to the bartender, “one 7 and 7, and two Guinnesses.”

“Ay, thank you!” Kaydel said.

“They’re both for me.”

Her face froze as she tried to figure out if he was serious. Then he started laughing and the girls followed suit. They had a lot of fun together. Ben was much nicer when he wasn’t talking about his parents or The First Order. Kaydel thought he was very funny, and Rey tried to ignore the fact that if Kaydel hadn’t had a boyfriend, Rey would have been pretty jealous. 

“When do you fly out?” Ben asked Rey, as he walked the two girls back to their apartment. Kaydel was very drunk, and he was helping Rey carry her home.

“Tomorrow afternoon.”

“And where do you live?”

“The Twin Cities.”

“With Luke,” he said. She thought it would be better not to say anything about this, in case he got angry again. He continued, “I live in Chicago.”

“Really? So close to home.”

“The north shore isn’t my home, Rey.”

She did not respond. 

“If you wanted, we could meet up in Chicago, while you are home for winter break.”

“That’d be awesome,” Rey exclaimed. 

“Let me give you my number. Don’t tell anyone okay.”

“No, I won’t,” Rey gave him her phone and he programmed in his number. “Here we are,” she said once they got to the apartment building, “Thanks so much for helping me.”

“No problem. Safe travels tomorrow.”

“Thanks. See you soon, Ben.”

“Bye, Rey.”

* * *

Rey texted Ben right away when she got back stateside. She didn’t know when he was returning, but at least now he had her number too. She kept her promise not to tell anyone, though she was itching to tell Rose and BB, who were both home already. He finally texted her back on the 21st. 

_ Pretty weird we were both in Dublin at the same time, right? _

Rey had been thinking the same thing.  _ Ikr! What a weird coincidence. Plus, we were in that pub at the same time, and happened to be by the bathroom at the same time! So weird! _

_ Have you heard of the Force? _

_ No what’s that? _

_ It’s this thing Snoke taught us about in the First Order. Now, before you go crazy, I know he was an insane and manipulative person, but I did find some of the things he taught us about to be true.  _

Rey stared at her phone screen. What was he doing? Was he trying to convert her or something?  _ You can’t be serious, _ she replied. 

_ I know it sounds weird. Look, I know that that shit was a cult and most of the stuff he did was absolutely crazy, but some of the things were true.  _

_ Such as a spiritual plain that allows humans to tap into their ancient brain powers such as telepathy? _

_ I see you’ve read their mission statement. No, that’s utter bullshit. There is no spiritual plain, but through meditation, you can find a state of being that’s… idk bigger than ours. It’s not just the First Order that teaches this btw. Meditation works. Many cultures have developed meditative techniques.  _

_ So what’s the Force? _

_ It’s an energy that flows through all living things. It directs their movement, their actions. So the Force would be what brought us together in Dublin.  _

_ Like the Fates? _

_ Kind of, but not really. It’s a part of us and outside us. I can feel it when I meditate.  _

_ I’ll look into it.  _

_ I don’t think you’ll find much, but we can talk about it more when we meet up. I’m back in Chicago, obvi, so if you’re free sometime, and I haven’t completely freaked you out, I’d love to see you.  _

_ I’m free tomorrow. What do you want to do? _

_ Tomorrow's perfect. I haven’t been to Chinatown in awhile. Do you like that? _

_ Sure, I love Chinatown. Can you meet me at the train station? _

_ Yeah, just let me know what train your on.  _

“I’m going to meet up with a friend from school tomorrow,” Rey told Leia, Han, Luke, and BB at dinner that night. 

“Oh, where?” Leia asked. 

“We’re going to Chinatown. Can you take me to the train station tomorrow?”

“Sure,” Leia nodded. 

“What friend? Do I know them?” Luke asked. 

“No, she’s not in biology,” it was always better to say it was a girl. Otherwise they’d tease her mercilessly about having a boyfriend. 

“Is Poe coming back for Christmas?” Han asked. 

“I don’t think so,” Rey replied. She wished he was. She missed his humor. 

“Where is he stationed now?”

“Germany,” BB said. 

Rey was glad the conversation had turned away from her activities the next day. She really wanted to tell BB about meeting Ben and discuss this Force thing with him, but she had promised Ben she wouldn’t say anything, and she was nothing, if not a woman of her word. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning - there's quite a bit of swearing in this chapter :)

Ben met her outside Ogilvie at 10 the next morning. He had a very nice BMW and was wearing a black sweater, black jeans, and a black winter coat. With his black hair and how tall he was, he looked like he was about to declare dominion over Earth. 

“What do you do?” Rey asked, once in the car. 

“I’m a corporate lawyer,” he said.

“I wouldn’t think corporate lawyers meditate,” she teased. 

“You’d be surprised. How else would we put up with all the shit we have to deal with?”

“Can I ask you why you left the First Order?” It was something she’d been wondering since she saw him in Ireland. 

“You just did,” he joked. 

She sighed exasperated, “Will you answer?”

“Ah, that’s another question. I suppose I realized Snoke was the manipulative snake he is. Like I said before, some of the things he was teaching were true, but he became a dictator. It wasn’t what I signed up for. A group of us got out before it was too late. It’s very hard to leave now. I’ve tried to get him shut down a few times, but there isn’t any evidence he’s doing harm, just brainwashing people.”

“And that’s not illegal?”

“It is but it’s hard to prove it’s happening.”

“So then you came back to Chicago, and…”

“I went to law school, and when I graduated, I got a job. Pretty normal track except for the whole cult thing.”

“Wow,” Rey said. “I know you don’t want to talk about it, but your family would be really happy to know you weren’t in a cult anymore.”

“You’re right, I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I didn’t tell them anything, not even BB.”

“I appreciate it. Who’s BB by the way?”

“He’s like my brother, kind of. We were both adopted by Leia and Han. Not actually adopted, obviously.”

“Why not?”

“My parents are still alive. I think BB’s are too, but he doesn’t really talk about them much.”

“So you got taken away from your parents?”

“No, they gave me up when I was four.”

Ben drummed on the steering wheel for a while before saying, “I’m sorry. It must have been hard growing up like that.”

“I don’t understand how you could leave your family. I just don’t get it.”

“What don’t you get?” he was tense now, his eyes fixed on the road. 

Rey felt like she might start crying. “You had a family who loved you, and you just walked away, gave it up. I don’t understand.”

He bit his top lip with his lower teeth, which made him look animalistic. Rey felt that he was thinking, trying to find the right thing to say.  **_You don’t know everything_ ** , Rey heard and assumed he’d said it out loud. 

“What don’t I know?” she demanded.

“What?” he was confused now. 

“You said that before, too, that I didn’t know the whole story. What haven’t they told me?”

He stared at her, thankfully they were at a red light. His eyes were harsh, boring down onto hers. While she watched him, his lips not moving, she heard him say, **_can you hear this?_**. 

“How did you do that?” she was pressed up against the passenger door, the farthest she could get from him. She was afraid now, adrenaline pumping through her. He was huge, she wouldn’t be able to fight him, but made if she caught him off guard. 

“Telepathy,” he said quietly.

“You are a fucking psychopath,” Rey shouted at him. “Let me out of the car!” She began to try to unlock the door, even though they were driving again. 

“No, Rey, listen,” Ben said, trying to grab her while keeping his eyes on the road. “I didn’t mean to do that, I’m sorry. I didn’t even know I could do that. Just hold on a second, I’ll pull over.”

He pulled into an alleyway and put the car in park. Rey was still staring at him as if he was a monster. 

“I’m sorry,” he said again. “Let’s just talk okay.”

“Okay, but I want the doors unlocked.”

“The car’s in park, they’re unlocked now.”

“Fine,” she crossed her arms, glaring at him. 

“Try to say something to me.”

“Something to me,” Rey parroted indignantly. 

“No,” Ben chuckled uncomfortably, “in your mind, like I did.”

“I don’t know what the fuck you did, but I’m not going to do it.”

“It was the Force,” Ben said more to himself than to her.

“You are fucking crazy,” Rey spat at him. “You know what? I’m glad you didn’t go back to your parents after you left that fucking cult. They don’t need your fucking looniness fucking them up. You are absolutely psycho.”

Ben ignored her digs at him, though his face showed a little pain at her words. “Try it,” he insisted. 

Rey stared at him and thought with all her might, **_Fuck You_**. 

Ben smiled at her, “You just said ‘fuck you’, right?”

“Easy guess,” Rey said. “What else would I be thinking right now?”

“Okay, do something harder. Think something random.”

Rey glared at him again and thought,  **_The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell_ ** . 

Ben smiled at her again. “The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell,” he repeated. 

“No fucking way,” Rey whispered, her fury turning into confusion. 

“This is so weird,” Ben said. 

“Is this the Force or whatever?”

“It seems to be connecting us, yeah. I thought so, I mean, how else would we have met in Dublin. I wasn’t even supposed to be in Dublin.”

“What?”

“Yeah, my coworker got sick, so they sent me instead. It was too big of a coincidence.”

“The Force connects people?”

“I don’t know,” Ben admitted. “I’ve never heard of it before.”

“I need some water.”

“Do you want to go to my apartment? I don’t live that far.”

“Okay, I guess,” it was really the only option. Rey couldn’t handle being in public places right now. They drove in silence, which was welcome to them both. After leaving the car in the parking garage, they took the elevator up to the eleventh floor. Ben unlocked the door and showed her in, going to the kitchen to get two glasses of water as Rey collapsed onto the couch. 

“Do you know of anyone we can ask about this?” Rey asked when he handed her the water. 

“Uh, Luke might know a bit about it, but I’m not talking to him,” he sat on the couch opposite her.

Rey ignored his childish behavior because of her surprise that Luke had knowledge about this. “What? Luke?”

Ben smiled at her a bit mockingly. “Yeah, he actually knew Snoke. They developed some of their ideas together. Before I met Snoke, Luke had already taught me a few things. Of course, he thinks it’s dangerous now, which is why he didn’t tell you.”

“Well I could ask him.”

“He’d know you’ve seen me.”

“I think that’s a pill you’re going to have to swallow.” They sat in silence for a few moments before Rey plucked up the courage to ask, “Is that why you won’t go back?”

“What? Luke?”

“Yeah.”

He laughed sourly, “Somewhat, I suppose.”

“Will you tell me?”

“Tell you what?”

Rey was frustrated, “God, Ben, why you won’t go back! Why don’t you want them to know that you’re not Kylo Ren anymore?”

“That’s the thing, Rey, I still am Kylo Ren, pieces of me are. They want me to be Ben Solo, and I’m not anymore.”

“They’re your family, they care about you, whoever you’ve become.”

“You don’t understand.”

“Only because you’re not explaining.”

“I can’t, not right now. It’s too tangled up.”

Rey decided to try something different. Instead of pushing thoughts at him, she tried to push her mind into his. She found herself feeling what he was feeling: fury, disappointment, fear, confusion, and something she really should not have seen, attraction to her. He stood up as she pulled back. His face was contorted in anger. 

“I’m sorry,” she squeaked. “I just wanted to understand.”

He took a deep breath and sat back down. “I can’t explain it. I try later.”

**_Does he know what I saw?_ ** Rey thought, a little too loudly apparently. 

“Yes, I do,” Ben said. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Rey couldn’t think of anything to say. Finally she replied, “I suppose, to be fair, you should do the same to me.”

“You want me to try to push into your mind?”

“You can if you want to.”

He just looked at her for a few moments, then she felt him. It was an odd feeling at first, sort of like a thought popping up, and not knowing where it came from, except she did know, and it wasn’t from her. He felt her confusion most of all, but he also felt what it was to be her, sitting there looking at him. He pulled back and looked away. 

Rey, surprised, asked him what was wrong.

“You’re afraid of me.”

“I guess, a little,” Rey admitted, “but I’m more afraid of what’s happening.”

He nodded, “I suppose it only makes sense to ask the one person who might tell us what’s going on.”

“It’s okay if I talk to Luke then?”

“Yes, and thank you for letting me decide.”

“I don’t understand  _ why  _ you feel this way, but I understand  _ how  _ you feel now.”

He said nothing, still looking away. 

“I’ll ask him not to tell your parents.”

He laughed coldly but still said nothing. She stood, walked over, and sat next to him on the other couch. He finally looked at her. Their eye contact was different than what she was used to. It was tighter, somehow, more direct. Almost instinctively, Rey placed her hand on Ben’s face, cupping his cheek. He closed his eyes, and Rey knew why. It wasn’t like touching someone else. It was almost like electricity snapping between them. Rey felt like they were wrapped up in something that was pressing them together, even though their only point of contact was her fingers on his face. The vibrations from this point coursed through her, pulling her forward. She leaned in and pressed her face against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her tightly. It was a bit awkward, as her hand was still on his face, but the energy running through them quickly distracted her from it. 

She pulled back and away. He let her go, and when they stopped touching, the vibrations ceased. They continued to stare at each other. 

Rey finally asked, “What was that?”

“I don’t know.”

She felt closer to him now, as if his mind was only inches away from hers. She could feel little wisps of his emotions, like how he wanted her to touch him again. She wanted to as well. As weird as the connection was, she had liked it. 

She leaned in and touched his face. Soft and warm, the feeling flooded through her again. Before she knew what she was doing, she leaned forward and kissed him, softly, her lips just brushing his. He put his hand on her waist and pulled her toward him, kissing her deeply. The vibrations were crackling around them, flowing through them, pushing them together. 

He reached around her and pulled her onto his lap, his arms wrapping around her again as she straddled him. No thoughts entered her mind, she was running on pure instinct. Never before had she been so calm and so sure. Their kisses deepened further. He licked her bottom lip with his tongue and she opened her mouth for him. He pushed into her and their tongues tangled together. He worked his hands under her sweater, touching her bare lower back. One of her hands was tangled in his hair, the other on his neck. 

Rey rocked forward, unsure of what she was doing but chasing something she couldn’t name. Ben groaned softly into her mouth. She was on fire, so hot she couldn’t breath. She pulled back, her mind finally beginning to catch up. They were both breathing heavily. His hands were still on her bare skin, one of them having worked its way up to her bra clasp. He didn’t move them, but just stared at her, his expression slightly awed. Rey brought her hands forward and cupped his face on both sides, looking at him pensively. 

He smiled, “What are you looking for?”

“I don’t know.”

He took his hands off her, her sweater fell back down, and he replaced them on her now covered waist. “Do you want to get lunch?”

Rey laughed at his forced normalcy, “Okay, sure. We can still go to Chinatown, right?”

He smiled again, “Of course.”

* * *

When Ben dropped her off at the train station, he kissed her softly on the temple. She couldn’t deny she liked the feeling of him against her, not just because of all the Force bullshit that was going on, but because his lips were soft and he smelled good and he was nice.  **_Jesus, I’m fucking mental_ ** , she thought. 

**_Joining the psychopaths_ ** , he thought back at her. 

She rolled her eyes,  **_Goodbye Ben_ ** . 

**_Bye, Rey_ ** . 

On the train back, Rey tried to wrap her head around the day. Had it actually just happened? She could still feel his mind, just a breath away from hers, even though she went farther away as the train continued on. It let her know that she hadn’t imagined everything, even if it could still mean she was going crazy. What was she going to say to Luke? Whatever she said, he’d know she’d seen Ben. She had played with the idea of telling Luke that she’d met someone else who’d been in The First Order, but she couldn’t explain why she knew quite so much then, and why would she be bonded to someone random. When Han picked her up at the Highland Park train station, she still hadn’t decided. She was also distracted by the way she was aching for him now. She’d never really been into anyone before. She’d gotten turned on before, sure, but not the way she just had, and it was at the forefront of her mind. Han, noticing she was distracted, stopped trying to make conversation with her, and they drove home in silence. 

After dinner that night, where Rey dodged questions about her day and her ‘friend from school’, Luke went up to the guest room, and Rey followed soon after him. He was sitting on his bed, organizing socks of all things, when she knocked gently on his door frame.

“Rey,” he welcomed her. 

“Can we talk?” she asked.

“Of course.”

She quietly shut the door behind her.

He smiled, “Oh, a closed-door talk. It’s not about women troubles is it? I’m not much use with those.”

Rey laughed a little nervously, “No, it’s not a woman trouble. I’m all set on those. I was wondering what you knew about - … about the Force?”

Luke snapped his face up to look at her, his expression unreadable. “Who told you about the Force?”

Rey hesitated, “Ben.”

“Ben,” Luke repeated. “Ben Solo?”

“I met him in Dublin. We’ve been talking.”

“In Dublin,” Luke seemed stupefied. “He’s not in the First Order anymore?”

“No, he left a while ago actually. I tried to convince him to come here, but he won’t.”

“Can’t say I’m surprised. What’s he doing?”

“He’s a lawyer.”

“A lawyer,” Luke repeated. “I didn’t see that coming. So, that’s who you saw today, not this friend from school.”

“Right, I saw Ben.”

“And he told you about the Force?”

“Yes.”

“So, why do you want to know what I know.”

“Something odd is happening between us,” Rey chose her words carefully. She’d rather not tell Luke that she had a makeout session with his estranged nephew right now. “We can hear each other’s thoughts. If we touch,” -Rey blushed, but Luke wasn’t looking at her- “there’s this energy, a vibration. He doesn’t know what it is either.”

“I’m not an expert, Rey. I helped Snoke a long time ago with his ideas, but it got too intense for me, and I backed out. I told Ben about it, and it made him join Snoke’s cult. I hope you can understand why I didn’t tell you.”

“I do,” Rey assured him. “Do you have any ideas?”

“This feeling you get when you touch, does it feel good or bad?”

Rey blushed furiously, “Good.”

“And when you are touching, does it make you want to do anything?”

“I’m not sure what you mean.”

“For example, if you touch hands, does it make you want to touch his face or something.”

Rey was very red at this point. Luke seemed to be carefully not looking at her. “Yes,” she admitted.

He nodded, “The Force is inherently nature. If nature is pulling you together, it’s almost like you are… You said you met in Dublin? How?”

“We bumped into each other at a pub. I recognized him from the pictures Leia has shown me.”

“That’s an odd coincidence.”

“Ben thinks the Force was bringing us together.”

“I agree with him.”

“What were you saying before? It’s almost like we’re- what?”

Luke sighed, “I don’t want to make any hasty guesses.”

“I was wondering if it would be possible for you not to tell Leia and Han about this.”

“Of course not,” Luke said, and Rey wasn’t sure if he was agreeing or not until he said, “they’d be so hopeful that he’d come back, just the same as he was. No, I agree we shouldn’t tell them.”

“He won’t talk about why he left, but he told me that I don’t know the whole story.”

Luke hummed thoughtfully, “I don’t suppose you do. He was getting very deep into Snoke’s theology. I had been encouraging him to distance himself from Snoke for some time. When he came to tell us he was leaving for the compound, well I said some things I shouldn’t have. I was afraid. Snoke had always craved power. He liked controlling people. I knew some part of him liked Ben because he was my nephew; liked manipulating him because of me. I told him Snoke only wanted him because of me.”

“He feels like he wasn’t wanted by either of you,” Rey thought aloud.

“Yes,” Luke agreed. “It was not the right thing to say. Drove him away from us.”

Rey turned to leave. 

“Rey,” Luke said to her. “Try meditating. You’ll feel the Force. If Ben is connected to you, you are already in too deep. It’s a good idea to get your bearings.”

Rey nodded and went to her room. She closed her eyes and sent the conversation into Ben’s mind, everything except when they had talked about why he left. She felt that would only make him angry. 

**_I wonder what he was about to say, about what we are,_ ** Ben thought. 

**_Me too. He agreed not to tell your parents._ **

**_Yes, I see that._ **

Someone knocked at her door and she found BB outside. “I talked to Rose today,” he said. “Me and her and Finn are getting lunch tomorrow. Want to come?”

“Sure, thanks.”

He looked at her piercingly. She normally told him everything, even the embarassing stuff, like Finn’s crush on her or how she had worried, up until this point, that she would never find anyone to whom she was attracted. He could tell she was hiding something from him and couldn’t understand why. 

“I’m tired from the day out,” Rey told him. “I’m going to go to bed early.”

“Okay,” he replied sweetly. “Good night.”

She shut the door, turned around, and almost screamed. She was able to stop herself from making a noise, but it was close because Ben was standing right behind her. 

“What the fuck?” Rey whispered at him. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m not here,” he said at a normal volume.

Rey shushed him. 

“They can’t hear me,” he told her, “I’m not where you are. I’m in my apartment.”

“What?” she whispered. “How is that possible?”

“I don’t know how any of this is possible. I can’t see where you are, just you.”

“I can see just you too. Are you really not here?”

“Well, I guess I am here, but here is two places.”

“Well, I didn’t have a headache before but I do now.”

“Where are you?”

“Home.”

“What room?”

“My bedroom.”

He looked amusingly exasperated, “which bedroom is yours, Rey?”

“The one across from the bathroom.”

His expression was frozen as he nodded, “That's my room.”

“This is your room?”

“I don’t know, I can’t see it, but I think so.”

“That’s kind of weird.”

“This whole thing is weird. Can you put on some music or something so you can talk normally?”

Rey turned on The Killers, “Can you hear it?”

He shook his head. 

“It’s Day and Age. Leia said you liked that album.”

“It’s a good album,” he agreed. 

“How long had you been gone when I got here?”

“How long have you been here?”

“Six years.”

“I would have been 25 then, so three years.”

“Your room wasn’t all white was it.”

“No, why?”

“I’m just wondering when they redid it. Probably right before me and BB got here.”

Ben didn’t say anything, just continued to look at her. 

“What are you thinking about?” Rey asked him. 

He gave her an embarrassed smile, “I was thinking about how pretty you are.”

Rey laughed, “No you weren’t.”

“I was. Look in my mind. I was; I promise.”

Rey rolled her eyes and moved forward, touching his hand. “Oh!” she exclaimed because she could see his apartment like a watermark over her bedroom.

He was looking around with an odd expression on his face, “I can hear the music now. This is my bedroom, looks a lot different though.” He stepped backwards, careful to keep ahold of her hand, pulling her with him, and sat on her bed. 

“What color were the walls?”

“Blue,” he said, “a vivid blue, like the evening sky.”

“I asked Luke about what happened between you two.”

“Did you now?”

“He told me.”

“What did he tell you?”

“He said that he told you Snoke only wanted you because you were his nephew.”

Ben laughed harshly, “Oh my God, really? I wonder if he actually thinks that’s why or if he just told you that.”

“Is it not?”

“No, Rey, that’s not why I won’t see them. I tried to get them to come with me, that’s why I came home. I didn’t want to relinquish my family, and I probably wouldn’t have, but Luke, he said that if I went, I was no longer his family. I would no longer be his nephew; I would be a stranger to him. My parents backed him up. They said that if I left, I shouldn’t come back. Well, I won’t.”

“That can’t be true Ben. I can’t imagine that.”

He pulled her close to him. Even though she was standing and he was sitting, their foreheads pressed together. Ben closed his eyes and gave her his memory of that day. 

Rey felt sick. She pulled away from him but allowed him to hold onto her hand, “I don’t understand. Why would they say that?”

“Rey, I was never anything to them. It was always the three of them. I meant nothing to them.”

“That’s not true Ben. I’ve seen Leia talk about you; she misses you. There has to be some mistake.”

“You saw the memory! Parents, they’re supposed to love you, aren’t they? I’ll admit that I was making a mistake. Snoke was a fucking psycho, but I made it out, but they didn’t want me to come home. I wasn’t their perfect little Ben Solo, so I wasn’t anything. Their love was conditional.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Your parents threw you away like garbage,” he said, and in his anger he didn’t see her pained expression at this; he didn’t see her start to cry. “But so did mine, they threw me away like garbage.”

“They didn’t,” Rey insisted through her tears. 

He pulled her close to him, wrapping his arms around her and pressing their foreheads together again. “Rey,” he whispered, “I’m nothing to them.”

“But, they miss you Ben. I know they do.”

“They don’t miss  _ me _ , Rey. They miss perfect little Ben Solo. As soon as I gave them any trouble, I was out.”

Rey began to cry harder now because she knew what that felt like.  **_No one has ever loved me unconditionally, except maybe BB_ ** , she thought.  **_Do Leia, Han, and Luke love me unconditionally?_ ** She kept these thoughts from Ben. He took her face in his hands and kissed her cheeks where her tears were falling. 

“It’s okay,” he whispered to her. “I’m okay, we’re okay. I don’t need them, neither do you. You understand now.”

“I think I do,” Rey said through her tears. 

He pulled her up into his arms, then scooted back to lay on the bed properly, keeping her wrapped up against him. She fell asleep like that, pressed against him, warm in his arms. 


	4. Chapter 4

BB woke her up by turning off the music. She sat up, suddenly cold from the loss of Ben. The lights in her room were still on. BB looked at her sympathetically. 

“Hey,” he said. “You must have been pretty tired. You fell asleep with your clothes on.”

“Sorry, has that just been playing on repeat?” she motioned to the speaker. 

“Yup, Day and Age, over and over again for two hours.”

“Sorry.”

“That’s okay. Sleep well, Rey.”

“Thanks, BB. You too.”

He left the lights on when he left so that she could get up and change into pajamas. 

**_Can I tell BB about you?_ ** she asked Ben. 

**_BB’s your brother, right?_ **

**_Foster brother, yeah._ **

**_Do you really want to tell him?_ **

**_He knows I’m hiding something from him. I feel bad. I tell him everything._ ** Rey felt a bit of jealousy come off Ben. She laughed,  **_It’s not like that._ ** She sent him her feelings for BB, which were of course mostly love, but brotherly love.  **_I’m pretty sure he’s asexual._ ** Rey felt Ben relax. 

**_If you want to, and you think he won’t tell Leia and Han, then I suppose you should._ **

**_Thanks._ **

**_Good night, Rey._ **

**_‘Night, Ben._ **

* * *

The next morning, Rey told BB everything. He listened to it with his mouth slightly open in astonishment, but he was silent. When she finished, she waited for him to say something, but when he didn’t, she asked him, “So, what do you think?”

“The most surprising part is that you are attracted to him.”

Rey laughed. It was so relieving to tell BB, someone who knew her so well that this was his response. “Right?” she asked him. “For so long, I thought I was… I don’t even know. I wasn’t asexual because I like” -she blushed fiercely but BB knew what she meant and smiled kindly at her- “but, God, B, you have to see him. He’s like a dark, tall, ah I don’t know. He’s great.”

“I can’t believe you made out with Ben Solo.”

“B! I know!”

“Does anyone else know?”

“No, and you can’t tell anyone, okay? Don’t even talk to Luke about it.”

BB smiled mischievously at her, “You know me, Rey. My lips are sealed. So, he’s okay with you telling me?”

“Yes, I felt so bad last night. I could tell that you knew something was going on, and you were confused as to why I didn’t tell you. I told him you could keep a secret.”

“I did notice that. I thought maybe you- well, never mind. I’m glad it’s this.”

“I’m excited to see Rose and Finn, aren’t you?”

“Yes, but I wish Poe was coming.” BB and Poe were surprisingly close. BB was the only one who made sure to write Poe regularly, and when Poe had come home during the spring semester the previous year, he’d visited BB. 

“Me too,” Rey said. “I wish he could come home for Christmas. I feel bad for his family.” Rey hadn’t seen Poe for a while, a few years at least. She hadn’t seen Finn for a while either, since last spring. She did feel bad for Finn; it wasn’t his fault she wasn’t into him. It wasn’t his fault that he couldn’t see that Rose had been head-over-heels for him since high school.  **_Maybe if he just notices Rose, he won’t go around hoping after me_ ** , Rey thought. 

The group met at a local Thai place that had been their go-to since their school days. Rose and Finn wanted to hear about Rey’s Ireland trip, which she had almost forgotten about in the situation with Ben. Thankfully, she had a lot of pictures to show them. When she was finished, talk turned to plans for New Year’s Eve and heading back to school. Soon enough, Rey and BB were on their way home. 

Rey laid on her bed before dinner, trying to map out her schedule for the next semester. It would be weird being back after her semester in Ireland, and she missed Kaydel a lot. Suddenly, she felt Ben’s presence, and, sitting up, found him standing in her room.

“Hey,” she said.

“Hi,” He replied and reached for her hand. Upon taking it, he could see her bed, and laid down next to her. Rey instinctively cuddled up against his chest, that electric buzzing filling her once again. He was wearing a white business shirt with a black tie and black slacks. He almost looked out of place without the all black outfits she was used to. 

“How was lunch?” he asked, his voice vibrating against her head. 

“Good. Are you at home?”

“No, I’m actually in my office.”

She hadn’t even noticed, but looking around now, she saw she was in a large office with windows behind her and glass walls with blinds covering them. “Were you expecting me?” she asked, motioning to the drawn blinds.

“I always keep them down. I don’t like people looking at me.”

“If someone came in, would it look like you were hovering above the floor?”

“I guess, but they won’t come in without knocking.”

She hummed and snuggled closer to him, her face pressing against his chin. It seemed so natural to her now. It never crossed her mind that she hadn’t really been with a guy like this before. She never felt awkward; everything felt so obvious. 

“What did your brother say?”

“He said it was surprising that I was attracted to you.”

Ben laughed in surprise, “What?”

“I used to be worried because I was never really attracted to anyone. For a while, I thought I was a lesbian, because I’d never liked a guy, but then I was never attracted to girls either. Then I thought maybe I was asexual, but I like-” she blushed deeply and cut off. 

Ben laughed at her embarrassment, “Come on, Rey. I won’t think any differently about you. You like masturbation, is that it?”

“Oh God, please don’t say that,” Rey buried her face in his shirt. 

“That’s what it’s called!”

“Alright, we’re moving on,” Rey sat up, folding her knees into her chest and wrapping her arms around them. Ben’s hand lay gently on her arm. “Yes, because I liked  _ that  _ so, where was I? Anyway, you are the only guy I’ve ever been attracted to.”

Ben sat up and kissed her softly. She smiled at him, still quite embarrassed. 

“So, are you a virgin?” he broke the sweet moment.

“Oh God, Ben!” she leaned into his chest again to hide her face. “Yes, I am.”

“It’s nothing to be ashamed about,” he insisted. 

“Ugh, it’s just so awkward to talk about.”

“Not with me though, it shouldn’t be. We know each other’s minds. We are like one piece.”

She raised her head and gave him a tentative smile, “Yeah, I suppose.” 

“Look, I’ve got to go,” he checked his watch, “I’ve got a meeting in five minutes.”

“Okay,” she leaned over and kissed him. “See you later.”

“Goodbye, Rey.”

* * *

Time passed quickly. Christmas was gone before long, and New Year’s was approaching. At dinner one night, Rey asked if Kaydel could video call and meet the family. Rey had told her so much about everyone, she wanted to meet them.

“Of course,” Leia exclaimed. “Have BB hook it up to the TV so that we can all see her.”

So once all the dishes were washed, they headed into the family room, and Rey called her friend. 

“Hello!” Kaydel said, waving through the TV. 

“Hello, Kaydel,” Han replied excitedly, “What time is it in Ireland?”

She laughed, “I’m not in Ireland anymore, Mr Solo. I’m at home in Oregon. It’s six thirty.”

“Oh,” Han said to Rey, “I thought she was from there.”

“No,” Kaydel responded, “I was studying abroad too!”

“Hi Kaydel, I’m Leia,” Leia introduced herself, “And this is my brother Luke, and this is BB.”

“Hi everyone! It’s so nice to meet you! Good to see you too, Rey. I haven’t seen you since I got super drunk at that pub.”

“Nice, Kay. Thank you for sharing that.”

“Oh yeah, sorry.”

Everyone laughed. 

“Have you seen Ben since you’ve been home?” Kaydel asked. The room went absolutely silent. Kaydel, who wasn’t really paying attention, went on. “Lord, he was hot. He bought me like eight beers. He lives in Chicago right? Have you seen him?”

Rey now felt that she’d better respond and try to steer the conversation literally anywhere else, “Uh, no, I haven’t. How’s your dog, Kay?”

“He’s good. Did Ben help you get me home? I was wondering about that.”

**_God almighty_ ** , Rey thought desperately. Han and Leia were looking at her like she’d just murdered someone. BB and Luke were both staring at the floor. “Yeah, he did.”

“He was so nice. He’s like your brother, right?”

**_I’m going to throw up_ ** . “No, not really. What are your plans for New Year’s?”

“You know the usual. So you can date him?” Kaydel asked, and laughed, clearly expecting everyone else to laugh too. When they didn’t, she seemed to suddenly realize her mistake. “Oh, uhh…”

“Listen, Kay,” Rey butted in, “We have to go. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Okay, bye,” Kaydel mouthed ‘sorry’ before hanging up the call. 

Rey was barely breathing. It took all her courage to raise her eyes to meet Leia’s. Leia was staring at Rey like she’d never seen her before. Rey couldn’t speak. 

Finally, it was Han who broke the silence, “So, you saw Ben, our Ben, in Ireland?”

“Yes,” Rey said, though her lungs felt like they were being mercilessly crushed. “I met him in Dublin.”

“He’s not in The First Order anymore?” Leia asked weakly, her voice trembling. 

“No, he hasn’t been for a while now,” Rey looked at Luke for help but he looked just as terrified as she felt. 

“ _ Have _ you seen him since you’ve been home?” Han spoke quietly, but every word whipped Rey harshly. 

“Yes,” Rey admitted. “I met him when I went to Chicago last week.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Leia sounded wounded. 

Rey’s heart was breaking, “I wanted to, but he asked me not to and-” She stopped, not wanting to throw Luke under the bus. 

He stepped forward anyway, “And I told her not to.”

“You knew?” Han was astonished. 

“I didn’t want you to get your hopes up-”

“Get our hopes up!” Leia interrupted. “Our son isn’t a prisoner in some monster’s cult and you thought that tell us would get our hopes up, for what?”

“He’s not who he used to be,” Luke told her. “He won’t come back the same.”

“No shit!” Leia yelled at him. “I don’t give a fuck who he is! He’s safe, he’s happy, that’s good enough for me. That’s all I wanted to know!”

No one noticed Rey was crying. 

**_What’s going on?_ ** Ben had felt her pain from wherever he was and had come to her.

“He left because of me!” Luke insisted. “And he won’t come back because of me.”

**_They know_ ** , Rey told him. Ben’s mind pressed against hers, and she felt him looking through her eyes at the scene before her. Rey gave the memory of the last few minutes to Ben, so that he knew the context of what was happening. 

“I don’t care about that!” Leia was continuing. “He isn’t being brainwashed anymore, that’s enough. Rey went to college, and she didn’t come back the same. We love her just the same. We’re proud of her.” 

“You don’t love him,” Rey’s body said it before she could figure out which one of them had actually spoke it. “You told him to go and never come back.”

Leia eyes went wide and she did not speak. Luke however, turned and studied her. “Is that Rey?” he asked, “Or is it Ben?”

“Both of us,” Rey said. 

“What is she talking about?” Han demanded from Luke. 

“Wait,” Luke told him. “What do you mean? I didn’t tell you to never come back.”

“You did,” Ben was speaking through her now. He seemed able to remain calm because she was acting as the middleman. He was able to view the scene from a slightly distant place, leaving his anger there and speaking logically. “You said I was no longer your nephew.”

“What is going on?” Leia said fearfully. 

“It’s complex, but Ben is speaking through her,” Luke explained.

“Ben?” Leia turned to look at Rey. 

“Rey,” Luke said, “I don’t remember saying that.”

“You did,” Rey replied. “I saw the memory. You said he was a stranger to you.”

“Rey, look into my memories,” Luke said. 

“I don’t know how to do that.”

“The same way you do with Ben. It’ll be a bit harder because we aren’t soulmates.”

“Soulmates?” Rey repeated. 

“Yes, that’s what I think you and Ben are. Soulmates; two become one.”

Pushing down all the emotions that brought up, Rey reached out and pushed at Luke with her mind. He was right, it was much harder. He felt very distant from her, as opposed to the closeness she shared with Ben. Finally she found him and the memory of him speaking with Ben. 

**They sat on opposite couches, Ben alone on one, and the three on the other. Leia had tears in her eyes. Both Luke and Han were staring at Ben confusedly.**

**“I’m leaving,” Ben was saying. “I’m going with him.”**

**“Ben,” Luke said.**

**Ben cut him off, “I don’t answer to that anymore. My name is Kylo Ren.”**

**“Snoke is manipulating you, you must see that.”**

**“Snoke is wise. His teachings are true.”**

**“I agree that some things he teaches are true. I myself believe in the Force, but Ben, you must entertain the idea that he wants you to come with him to get back at me. He knows this will hurt me.”**

**“I’m going with him,” Ben said again.**

**“Please, Ben,” Leia whispered. “Please don’t do this. He’ll make you renounce us. We’ll never see you again.”**

**“I’m not Ben anymore. I’m not your son.”**

**“You’ll always be Ben to me. You’ll always be my son,” Leia insisted. “I’ll always love you Ben,” she was crying strongly now. Han wrapped his arm around her.**

**Ben stood, his face like stone. “Goodbye,” he said curtly. Then he stood and turned to leave.**

**“Ben,” Luke said, standing. “We’ll always be with you. Our love will always be with you.”**

**Ben’s face remained expressionless, and he left.**

“I don’t understand,” Rey and Ben said together. 

“Snoke brainwashed you,” Luke told Rey’s body. “He made you believe we didn’t want you. We do want you.”

“Of course we do,” Leia said. 

“Ben,” Han whispered, reaching towards Rey. “Come home.”

Rey felt something inside Ben break. He was falling to the floor in his apartment. Rey followed suit, collapsing to the ground. 

**_I don’t understand_ ** , he said again, but this time only Rey heard him. 

Rey pushed a memory onto him, the one of Han telling her she wasn’t garbage on her first day in their house.  **_We aren’t garbage_ ** , she told him.  **_They love you, and they love me unconditionally._ **

**_Rey, what have I done?_ **

**_It doesn’t matter. Come home._ **

Rey looked up. It seemed at least a few minutes had passed. BB was cradling her in his arms, everyone else was watching her tensely. 

“He’s coming,” she told them. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one is pretty short because the next one is long and I couldn't find a good place to break them apart. Thank you so much for reading.

From the time Rey told them he was coming to the time he arrived felt like days. Leia and Han were trying to pull themselves together, BB was comforting Rey who felt like she’d just been hit by a truck, and Luke was in a daze. She was with him in his car, and also still kneeling on the carpet. Rey could feel all his emotions whipping around his mind like a tornado. He was so confused, and he was burning with regret and anger at Snoke. 

**_I’m right here,_ ** Rey reminded him.  **_I’ll help as much as I can._ ** She pushed any calming memories she could think of at him: waves crashing against cliffs in Ireland, the sun shining off lakes in Minnesota, looking out across the landscape as the wind blew gently through her hair. 

**_I don’t know if I can do this._ ** His desperation flooded into her mind. 

**_You can. We can,_ ** Rey told him.  **_Just focus on getting here safely. Everything will be okay once we’re together._ **

Luke had finally snapped out of his trance and kneeled beside her, looking intently into her eyes. “You must believe me Rey. Whatever memory you saw in Ben’s head, it was mutated and manipulated by Snoke.”

“I believe you,” Rey replied quietly. Leia and Han listened from where they were standing together, both of their eyes full of tears. Rey reached for them though they were too far away, “I couldn’t believe it when he showed it to me. I thought something had to be wrong. I couldn't understand why you would say those things, but I saw the memory. I didn’t know they could be changed.”

“You said,” Leia spoke to Luke, “that they were soulmates?”

“Yes, I think so,” he affirmed. “To be more precise, I think they are bonded through the Force. It has connected them, making them almost like one being.”

“The Force?” Han asked him. 

“It’s too complicated to explain just now. It’s an energy flowing through all living things.”

“He’s almost here,” Rey told them, standing up shakily, still holding onto BB. 

“What should we do?” Leia asked her. Even if she had no idea what was going on, it was clear she recognized Luke and Rey as authorities on the situation. Luke looked at Rey as well, letting her take the lead. 

“I’ll go out and meet him. Just me,” she insisted. “Then we’ll come in, together.” Rey felt Ben approve of this plan. 

“Does he understand, Rey, that we love him?” Leia’s voice was full of emotion as she desperately stepped toward Rey. “Does he know that we always have? That we want him back?”

“I think he does,” Rey comforted her, “but he’s still pretty confused.” 

“That’s understandable,” Luke said. “I can help sort out the manipulated memories from real ones later.”

“I’m going out to meet him,” Rey announced. Everyone nodded with faces full of apprehension. Rey stepped outside just as Ben’s car pulled up. She hurried to him, not even letting him get out, but curled into his lap, the steering wheel pressed hard against her side. Ben wrapped his arms around her as if she was a lifeboat and he was drowning, which was really how he felt. Both of their minds were spinning with the information they’d learned the past hour, but Rey fought for calmness and sent it to him through the bond. 

She looked up, gently touched his face, and kissed him softly, trying to be comforting. He smiled at her nervously when they broke away. Then he brushed her hair out of her face and left his hand cupping her neck just below her ear. They silently calmed each other. 

Finally, Ben spoke to her through their minds,  **_Moment of truth._ **

**_I’m glad you came, Ben. I’m so glad you are here._ **

**_I’m going to need your help, Rey._ **

**_I know. I’m with you. Always._ **

He smiled at her again, leaned in, and kissed her cheek, just a peck.  **_Always,_ ** he repeated. 

Rey scrambled off of him and out of the car. He followed her into the house. His chest burned with the sadness of returning home after all this time. Each thing that was different or the same seemed to stab at him, reminding him of his absence. Rey reached behind her and grabbed his hand. Some of the pain dissipated and the rest became dull. They entered the living room. 

Everyone was standing, facing them, wearing similar expressions of relief and apprehension. Ben was unable to look at anyone directly and stared instead at his feet. Leia was the first to step forward gingerly.

“Ben?” she said in almost a whisper, as if she could not believe he really stood before her. “Ben, I’m so sorry,” she was trying holding back tears, but they came leaking down her face nonetheless. 

“Ben,” Han said, stepping up next to his wife and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “We’ve missed you.”

Ben stared at them and said nothing,his face frozen in blankness that was his default setting. He still clung to Rey as his liferaft. 

It was Luke’s turn to speak, “I’m sorry, Ben. I’m so sorry that I hurt you, that we hurt you, and that Snoke hurt you. Thank you for letting us try to make it right.”

Ben squeezed Rey’s hand before responding quietly, “It doesn’t seem like you have anything to apologize for. Snoke messed with my head. I knew he did, but I didn’t think it was possible for it to go so deep.” He looked shamefully at the floor, his own guilt flowing through the bond to Rey.

“Ben,” Leia replied, “We failed you before Snoke tampered with your memories. We didn’t make sure you had a place here, that you were sure of our love. I’m so sorry. I want you to know, now, that I love you, no matter what. No matter you who are or who you become, all always love you as my son. 

Ben looked up and met her eyes for the first time. The truth of her words were apparent on her face, which was full of love. “Mom,” he said, and she reached for him, stepping forward. He responded immediately, dropping Rey’s hand, walking toward Leia, and hugged his mother tightly. 

Han, who was usually so manly that Rey had only ever seen him shed a tear once before, was crying unabashedly, and when Ben and Leia broke apart, he pulled his son into a bone crushing hug. Leia, seeing them reunited at last, began to laugh with the happiness that was pouring out of her, infecting everyone in the room. Soon Rey was smiling ear-to-ear along with BB. Ben hugged Luke as well once his father had let go of him. 

“This is BB,” Rey introduced him, once Luke and Ben broke apart. 

“Nice to meet you, BB,” Ben said, smiling in a way Rey had never seen before. He was so relaxed and free, she could feel his peace flowing through their bond. BB and Ben shook hands fraternally. Everyone thought they would never stop smiling. 

* * *

After the reunion, with hugs repeated multiple times, lots of laughing and explaining, apologizing and forgiving, Luke took Ben down to sit by the water and see if they couldn’t find his true memories. It was tougher than they thought it would be, and by the time they returned to the house, they had only managed to sort out the memory of Ben leaving, though there seemed to be lots more. It was a Thursday night, and Ben said he could take the next day off so that he could spend the weekend at home. He had Monday off since it was New Year’s Day. 

“Well,” Leia said to him, “you might have to sleep on the couch. All the other beds are taken.”

“Leia,” Luke chuckled, “he’s bonded to Rey. They basically sleep together anyway.”

“Oh,” she looked slightly stunned. “Well, I suppose that’s okay, if it’s alright with you Rey.”

Rey smiled, blushing a little, “I don’t mind sharing.”

“No funny business, you too,” Han said, recapturing his usual gruff attitude. “You might be soulmates but this is still my house.” 

Rey thought she might die from blushing as everyone, even BB and Ben, broke into laughter. 

Later, once Rey had gotten ready for bed and Ben was dressed in some old pajamas of Han’s that were amusingly too small for him, they were in her bed, her face pressed into his neck, his arms cradling her gently. 

**_It’ll take awhile, sorting everything out, but we’ll get there._ **

**_Can I help at all?_ ** Rey asked. 

**_Maybe. We can try it tomorrow._ **

**_Ben?_ **

**_Yes, sweetheart?_ **

Rey giggled softly.

**_What?_ ** Ben asked.

**_I like that._ **

**_Sweetheart?_ **

**_Yes._ **

**_I’ll keep calling you it then._ ** Ben stroked her hair and she shuffled around so that she could look up at his face. He then asked,  **_What did you want to say?_ **

**_I was going to tell you… that I love you._ **

**_I love you too, Rey._ **

She kissed him then, softly at first and then deeper. He pulled her up so that she was even with him, licking into her mouth and sucking on her bottom lip. She tangled her fingers in his hair, pressing her body into his so that they were flush against each other. He reached under her pajama shirt, hands sliding across her bare skin up to her rib-cage, then his left hand move forward and touched her breast, teasing her nipple with his finger. She gasped softly and moaned as the sensations brought heat flooding through her body down to between her legs. 

He pushed her over onto her back and hovered above her. She wrapped her legs around his hips, pulling him close to her, and tugged at his shirt, helping him take it off. After he threw it to the floor, he pulled hers off over her head as well. He then pressed himself against her, their bare skin finally connected as they kissed ferociously once again. He broke their kisses to lean down and kiss her neck, her clavicle, making his way down to her chest. He sucked on her left nipple, making her stuff her hand in her mouth, trying not to make too much noise. His tongue flicked it repeatedly as his left hand massaged her other breast. 

“Ben,” she whispered desperately, pulling at his hair for him to return to her mouth. 

**_What?_ ** He didn’t take his mouth off her.

**_Han said no funny business._ ** She began to laugh, quietly at first, but then Ben broke away from her and began to laugh as well. It wasn’t even funny, really, but they both felt so happy and so gloriously peaceful, that everything seemed brighter and funnier than it was. Ben scooted up next to her, turning her so that her back pressed into his chest, and spooned her lovingly. 

**_I’ve never done this before,_ ** Rey reminded him. 

**_I like being your first, your only,_ ** Ben told her.  **_Once everything has been sorted out, maybe you can stay with me for a little before you go back to school. We can go slowly, but then we don’t have to worry about my parents walking in._ **

**_I’d like that. Good night, Ben._ **

**_Good night, Sweetheart._ **


	6. Chapter 6

Ben and Luke spent the weekend sorting out Ben’s mind, which was everyone’s priority. Rey was not much help besides emotional support, which Ben needed a lot of, but she couldn’t make the process go any faster. Luke said it was helpful that it was so cold, since it kept them in the moment. They looked funny, though, bundled up against the wind, spending hours outside in the middle of winter. Rey spent nights tangled with Ben in her bed, and the days helping Leia hang up hold pictures of Ben that she had taken down because they’d been too painful to look at. Ben spent any time he wasn’t with Luke or Rey with his parents, telling them about his job or law school, filling them in on his life. Everyone was so overjoyed, it was like the rest of the world had melted away, leaving only their family. 

On Sunday morning, after a long time down by the lake, Luke declared Ben ‘practically cured’. They had a celebratory lunch, complete with champagne. Rey told them her plans of going back to the city with Ben on Monday night and staying with him until the next weekend. Everyone was supportive, though Han did not try to hide his grumblings to Leia about ‘funny business’. 

“They are both adults,” Rey heard Leia whisper back. 

“As long as it’s not under my roof,” Han replied. 

At two that afternoon, the family was in the living room, just lounging and talking. Rey was snuggled against Ben’s chest, and Leia sat on his other side. BB and Han were having a quiet conversation about aerospace engineering, and the others were discussing movies that had come out recently. 

The doorbell rang, and Luke got up to answer it, complaining about visitors on New Year’s. It turned out to be Rose, Finn, and Poe! Poe had surprised them by returning home. They came into the living room, bubbling with excitement. Rey and BB leaped up to hug Poe. 

“Happy New Year!” Poe shouted to the room after he’d finished hugging them. 

“It’s good to see you, Poe!” Leia replied happily. “When did you get back?”

“Yesterday,” he told her. “I surprised my family and spent the day with them. I’ve spent today surprising all of these guys. It’s been absolutely awesome.” 

“This is my son, Ben,” Leia introduced him. Ben stood to shake hands with Poe. “Ben, this is Poe, Rose, and Finn.”

“They’re our friends from high school,” Rey explained to him. 

“It’s nice to meet you,” Ben said politely. 

“I didn’t know you had a son, Mrs Organa,” Rose said. She’d always refused to call Leia ‘Leia’, despite everyone else doing so. 

“He’s been away for a while,” Leia explained, “but he’s back now.” She gave Ben a massive smile. 

“You guys ready to party?!” Poe shouted happily.

“Oh, no,” Rey replied.

“Come on!” Finn said to her, “it’s New Year’s.”

**_By party,_ ** Rey told Ben silently,  **_they mean play board games and get drunk until midnight, and then crash in the basement._ **

**_Sounds riveting,_ ** he teased her. 

“Are you partying here?” Leia asked, always the willing hostess for the group. 

“If that’s okay with you,” Finn said. 

“Of course it’s okay,” Han called to them from the other side of the room, “But come in here first. I want to hear what you’ve all been up to. Poe, it’s been a long time.”

The newcomers found seats quickly on the floor and Poe launched into what he’d been doing in the Air Force. Rey, without thinking, settled right back into her place leaning against Ben. They were no longer listening to Poe, but talking quietly to each other. 

“What do you want to do in Chicago this week?” he asked her. 

“Don’t you have to work?”

“I do, yeah, but we can do things in the evenings.”

“I don’t really care, as long as we can spend time together,” Rey told him. 

Ben kissed her temple, and Rey caught sight of Finn’s face, staring at her, broken and betrayed. She jumped away from Ben, realizing suddenly that these people of course had no idea what was happening between them. They were all staring at Rey and Ben, even Poe, who was trying to tell his story, but kept getting distracted. 

“We’re uh…” Rey motioned between herself and Ben, trying to find the right words. Obviously, ‘soulmates’ would sound crazy. 

“Dating,” Ben filled in for her. 

“Right, yeah, we’re dating,” Rey told them. 

“Go on Poe,” Han said obliviously. “Don’t get distracted by the PDA.”

Poe stumbled on with his story. Rey remained distanced from Ben, trying to pay attention. 

**_What’s up?_ ** he asked her, confused by her sudden coldness. 

**_My friend, Finn, has had a crush on me for ever. I just feel bad._ **

**_You know about it?_ **

**_Yeah I always have, but I’ve just never been into him. Rose is totally in for him, but he never notices her._ **

**_Tragic._ **

**_Be nice._ **

**_I’m serious. It is tragic._ **

“Should I order some pizza for tonight?” Leia was asking. 

“You are always so nice, Mrs Organa,” Rose said. 

“Don’t worry about it. We have a lot to celebrate,” she smiled happily at Ben. 

“What games do you want to play tonight?” Poe asked them. 

“Well you know what we have,” BB said. “Should we head down?”

They all rose to make their way to the basement. Rey pulled Ben’s hand for him to follow her, but he stayed firmly on the couch. 

“I’m not really into board games,” he told her. 

**_This is a deal breaker to me,_ ** she teased pleadingly.

“Really? A deal breaker?”

**_Yes, you have to come with us._ **

“Have to?”

Leia cleared her throat loudly. Rey realized they’d been having a half-silent conversation, and saw all her friends staring at them, except BB, who was laughing silently. 

“How long have you guys been together?” Rose asked. “You can communicate in your own special language.”

“A bit,” Rey told her vaguely.  **_You don’t have to come if you don’t want to. Actually, it’s probably good if you spend some time with LLH._ **

**_LLH?_ **

**_Luke, Leia, Han._ **

**_Ah, of course. If you don’t mind, I’d really rather not play board games._ **

“Are you two coming?” Poe asked. 

“I’m coming,” Rey said, letting go of Ben’s hand.

She let Ben have some space to process with his parents and uncle. It was good to spend some time with her old friends, though it was hard to ignore the dejected look in Finn’s eyes. 

* * *

Rose, Finn, and Poe left the next morning, after Leia made a big New Year’s Day breakfast. Rey and Ben hung around for a few more hours, and left for his apartment after dinner. Leia, Han, and Luke were sad at seeing Ben go; it had been so wonderful for them to have him back in the house, but he promised to visit again soon, which was more than any of them would have hoped for a week previously. 

It was nice to be alone with Ben, really alone, not in his parents house. He held her hand as he drove, and she could sense his contentment and peace. 

“I’m really glad we are connected the way we are,” Rey told him. 

“Me too,” he smiled.

“It would be really hard to leave for school if I didn’t have you in my head, if you couldn’t come visit me through the bond.”

“It’ll be a bit different though,” he told her. “It’s been nice being really together this weekend.”

“It’s only one semester,” she reminded him, “and my research this summer is at Northwestern, so I’ll be close.”

“And then another year,” he added. 

“Yes, one more year. Then, I’ll be back for good.”

“Hmm,” he drummed the wheel with his fingers. “I guess I can wait.”

“But, like I said, we won’t really be apart.”

“Right. We’ll never really be apart.”

“Yes, exactly,” she lifted his hand in hers up and kissed it sweetly. 

They arrived at his apartment building and went upstairs. Rey couldn’t believe that it had been about two weeks ago that she’d gone there for the first time. It seemed so long ago. 

“Do you want anything? I have wine, I think. Or if I remember correctly, you like 7 and 7’s?”

Rey chuckled, “I like wine. Do you have white?”

“Sure,” Ben busied himself in the kitchen while Rey looked out the window onto the city street below. 

He came over and offered her a wine glass. He had his own full of red wine. 

“Not a fan of white?” Rey asked as she followed him over to the couch. 

“Sometimes,” he replied. “I enjoy both.”

They settled down in the couch, his arm around her shoulders, her head against his peck. 

“Can I ask you something?”

“You just did,” Ben teased her. 

Rey huffed, “No, I’m serious.”

“Okay, ask me.”

“You know I’ve never really been into anyone before?”

“Yup.”

“Have you been?”

Ben thought for a moment, gazing at her lovingly, and then replied, “Not really. I’ve had sex before, but that was mostly because I felt like I should. I can appreciate the beauty of women, I guess, but I never really felt drawn to anyone before you. I felt it immediately. It’s why I bought you a drink in that pub. You were beautiful and strong. You weren’t afraid of me.”

“No, that came later,” Rey joked. 

Ben chuckled, “Did you feel it then?”

“I thought you were hot,” Rey told him. “I was a bit jealous of Kaydel, because she was so comfortable around you, and I felt so awkward.”

“Is that that girl who got drunk, and I carried her home?”

Rey laughed, “Yup, that’s Kaydel.”

“I honestly don’t remember her much, except for that part. I was struck with you. I got off the plane at O’Hare, and I had a text from you. I was so excited.”

Rey leaned into him and kissed his cheek, then turned her face and pressed her cheek against his, feeling that energy from their bond flowing around them. He reached up and cupped her face in his large hands, looking deeply into her eyes. 

**_I want you_ ** , Rey thought at him. 

**_You have me,_ ** he replied, brushing his thumb against her bottom lip. 

Rey closed the distance between then, crushing her lips against his fiercely. Everything faded into oblivion as the only things Rey was aware of became Ben’s body against hers and the Force surging around them. She moved into his lap, straddling him and threading her fingers of one hand through his hair. With the other, she felt his chest, muscular and toned, beneath his t-shirt. He began kissing her down her jaw, licking and sucking her sensitive skin below her ear before moving down her neck. Rey gasped from the feeling of his tongue on her skin and his hands under her sweater, pressing her against her. Ben looked up at her, his breath fast and shallow. 

**_Do you want to do this?_ ** he asked her. 

**_Yes. Ben, please, I want this._ **

That was all he wanted to hear. Holding tightly onto her hips, Ben stood and carried her to his bedroom. He set her on his bed and pulled her sweater off over her head before pulling his own shirt off. Rey laid back and he climbed up, kissing her stomach, her breasts, and her neck as he moved over her until he reached her mouth, where he kissed her deeply, tangling his tongue with hers. Rey rewarded him with a soft moan. He sat up again and undid the button of her jeans. 

**_Just tell me if you want me to stop,_ ** he told her. 

**_I don’t want you to stop._ **

He was all there was in her world. His skin against hers was the only air she could breath. She ached for it and something more, deep within her. He filled some space within her she hadn’t even known was empty. She wanted more of him. He felt her yearning and had to strain against all his instincts to just  _ fuck her _ , and instead moved slowly, gently pulling her jeans off, leaving her in only her underwear. 

“You are so perfect, Rey,” he whispered into her skin as he kissed the soft skin of her stomach, moving down to the band of her panties. 

He looped his fingers on either side and pulled them off her. She pressed her legs together instinctively, flushing with being so exposed to him. He sent comfort and safety to her through their bond. She breathed raggedly, her hand still softly holding onto his hair, the other holding onto the sheet. Ben kissed the hair between her legs as he gently pushed her thighs apart, and she opened them for him. He touched her there softly, just ghosting over her, but she gasped at the slight contact and arched against him, pushing into his hand. She moaned throatily as he rubbed her clit. He had planned to lick his hand before doing this, but there was no need. She was dripping wet, and he used it to lubricate his motions. 

He moved up her body, leaving his hand between her legs, and found her mouth. He kissed her sweetly as he continued to rub her there. Rey gripped his shoulder tightly, breathing deeply between kisses. She had made him so hard, all laid out before him, moaning incoherently. All her sounds were for him, never heard by anyone before. It was driving him wild. Forcing himself to ignore his animal instincts, he pushed a finger inside her. She gasped loudly, her eyes flying open to meet his. 

“Ben,” she said, her voice deep and low. 

“God, Rey, you’re so tight. Does it hurt?”

“No. No, I’ve done it before.”

“You’ve fingered yourself?” Ben tried in vain to ignore all the images that brought up. 

Rey nodded, eyes still on his face, gazing at him. 

“Take your bra off,” Ben ordered her, not wanting to take his hand away from between her legs and doubting he could manage single handedly. 

Rey complied quickly, sitting up just enough to get her hands behind her back. She pulled it off and tossed it to the floor, exposing her breasts to him. He attacked them with his mouth immediately, pushing her back down on the bed. He licked and sucked at them and her nipples, leaving her making truly filthy sounds as he moved his finger in and out of her, still trying to hit her clit with his thumb. He pushed another finger into her, opening her up. She sucked in air, and he felt the burn it caused through their bond. He also felt that she liked it, the feeling of him inside her and against her. 

**_Ben, I want you closer._ **

**_I’m working on it, baby. You’re so fucking tight, and I don’t want to hurt you._ **

He worked his fingers in her, but could hardly focus with how his erection was straining painfully against his pants. 

“Take them off,” Rey mumbled. She could feel it through the bond.

“Not yet,” he told her. He wasn’t sure if he could stop himself if he was naked just yet. He added another finger. Suddenly, he found a spot inside her that made her shake and moan louder than before. She closed her eyes and arched dramatically as he hit it again. He hit it again and again. Her breath was fast and even more ragged. Ben wasn’t even kissing her breast anymore, he was just watching her face and her body as she came; the pleasure she felt rolling through their bond. Ben pressed his hand that wasn’t inside her harshly against his groin to keep himself from coming from just this. 

While he waited for her to come down a bit, he pulled his pants and underwear off, finally freeing his dick, which was red from the abuse it had been through. Ben grabbed a condom from his bedside table and rolled it on, harder than he’d ever been in his life. He looked back at Rey, who was watching him lazily through heavily lidded eyes. 

**_You okay?_ ** he checked in with her. 

**_That was amazing._ **

**_Yes, it was. You are stunning._ **

She blushed and huffed a laugh before looking at his naked body, taking in his dick for the first time. 

**_You still okay to keep going._ **

**_Yes,_ ** her tone, even through the bond, was definite. She was aching for more of him still.  **_I want you inside me._ **

Ben wasn’t sure she’d meant for him to hear that last, but he was no longer able to keep himself from her. He stepped between her legs, gently placing them on his hips. He lined himself up with her hold and pressed into her as slowly as his self control would allow. 

Rey hissed and Ben could feel the burning spreading through her as she was stretched around his head. He stopped. 

**_No,_ ** she thought at him.  **_Keep going_ ** . 

So, he continued to push into her, stopping every little bit to let her breath and relax around him. Her heat felt so good around him. He reached to her and interlaced their fingers together. Their eyes met and they could feel each other’s feelings, the love pouring off both of them, the need that was taking over their minds. 

Ben bottomed out inside her, his hips pressed against her thighs. He gave her a moment to breath, but he felt her desire for more, and when he felt she was ready, he pulled out and pushed back into her, slowly but more swiftly than the first time. Rey’s eyes fluttered closed and she reached for him with her hand that had been wrapped in the sheets. He laid himself against her, his chest flush against hers, and kissed her. Rey moved her hips a little and wrapped her legs around his hips, allowing him a better angle. She grabbed his shoulders with both hands, her fingernails digging into his flesh. He began to rock within her, slowly at first, but soon his thrusts were coming faster. He could feel her pleasure flowing through the bond, and with each thrust, he felt it grow and knew he could go faster and harder. 

Rey was moaning his name over and over again. Sometimes it was semi more than a mumble, but Bed understood it all, and each time, it flew straight to his dick. He was holding on by threads. He hit that spot inside her over and over again. She arched violently against his chest, and he buried his face in her neck as they came together, their orgasms rolling as one between them. He thrust softly twice more, continuing his own orgasm and hers, before he pulled out of her and took the condom off. 

Rey laid on his bed looking thoroughly fucked. Ben pulled the blankets up around her and pulled her close to him, spooning her gently. She hummed happily at their body contact, snuggling into his chest. 

**_I love you._ ** Even her thoughts were almost incoherent, a little mumbled, but Ben knew what she had said. 

**_I love you, sweetheart. And I always will._ **

**_Always,_ ** Rey thought before drifting off to sleep. 

* * *

TWO YEARS LATER

Rey lives with Ben in Chicago. She’s in a Biology PhD program at the University of Chicago. They’ve decided to get married, but haven’t yet settled on a date. 

Rose and Finn have been dating for a year. Neither have ever been happier. 

Poe has been made a Captain. He still likes to surprise his friends and family with visits. 

Luke has retired from the University of Minnesota. He lives with Leia and Han in Highland Park. 

BB has a job in designing Virtual Reality gaming systems. He loves it. 

Rey finds out her biological parents have been dead since she was nine. She wishes she could have known them, but she has her own family now, and she loves them all more than she had ever imagined she could. 


End file.
